do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
