I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
whose ass print is on the piano?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
