ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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