the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
How naked do you want me to be?
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