Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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