with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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