At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
