I want to stick my p in your. b.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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