So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
