You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
