I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
