it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
