Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize