he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
