its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize