i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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