so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
