Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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