Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
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