I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
