KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
