So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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