nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
