We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
