First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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