the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
