after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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