i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
