Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
