A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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