Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize