part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize