Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
