Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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