I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I bet he comes in French.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
