Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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