she was so not down for the gang bang
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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