Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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