Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
