If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
