That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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