Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
