They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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