I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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