what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
