I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
