What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
