he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
