I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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