I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
