Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
