Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm really busy with my period
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