I feel great
I just peed on a car
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize