Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
