with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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