Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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