he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
