I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
