Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
