I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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